2007June20, Wednesday

Amazingly Simple Home Remedies

Posted in Pet Peeves at 13:53 by Trey Austin

I don’t usually post things in email forwards (mainly, because i don’t usually appreciate their content as much as the person who sent it to me). In fact, you could say that one of my pet peeves is email forwards (especially the ones where, if you don’t send it to 500 people in the next twenty seconds, your head will explode and gremlins will dance on your corpse).

This one, though, was different, and it was an exception to my lack of appreciation for that content. This just gives simple home remedies to answer life’s little problems in a purely pragmatic way. Made me chuckle. Hope you enjoy. 🙂

Amazingly Simple Home Remedies:

  • When choking on an ice cube, simply pour a cup of boiling water down your throat. Presto! The blockage will instantly remove itself.
  • Avoid cutting yourself slicing vegetables by getting someone else to hold them while you chop.
  • Avoid arguments with the Mrs. about lifting the toilet seat by using the sink.
  • To treat high blood pressure: simply cut yourself and bleed for a few minutes, thus reducing the pressure in your veins. Remember to use a timer.
  • A mouse trap, placed on top of your alarm clock, will prevent you from rolling over and going back to sleep after you hit the snooze.
  • If you have a bad cough, take a large dose of laxatives, then you will be afraid to cough.
  • You only need two tools in life – WD-40 and Duct Tape. If it doesn’t move and should, use the WD-40. If it shouldn’t move and does, use the duct tape.
  • When confused remember, everyone seems normal until you get to know them.

Daily Thought: Some people are like slinkies. Not really good for anything but they bring a smile to your face when pushed down the stairs.

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1 Comment »

  1. tempe said,

    Hilarious!

    P.S.: You didn’t answer my last question (in post # 4) in the church sign entry.


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